


He Never Meant For it to Be This Way

by Trash_Lord



Series: Author vents through haikyuu charecters [8]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Also id like to state rn that i love Oikawa with all of my heart, Aromantic charecter, Aromantic yamaguchi, Hes a little ooc, Idk if the rating is correct????, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, It was a shot in the dark, M/M, So be carefully, So im sorry abt thia, Suicide Attempt, Suicide Notes, Talk of Suicide, Thats actually a really short mention????, The charecter death is implied???, The suicide stuff is a major part tho, You get to choose, also, blink and you miss it - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-14
Updated: 2017-01-14
Packaged: 2018-09-17 08:40:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9313946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trash_Lord/pseuds/Trash_Lord
Summary: This is never how Yamaguchi expected this relationship to go.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Like I said in the tags, Oikawa is a little OOC. I apologize for that but this is a vent fic and I had to bend a few things. Theres gonna be some similarities to my fic "liar!" And the other aro yama fic ive written that I can't remember the title of rn. The similarities are bc all 3 of these are vent fics! So they're based off of real events, this one's just longer and more detailed and stuff.

Yamaguchi was fifteen when they started dating. He had been a little insecure about their relationship, given the age gap and his inexperience with dating. The fact that Oikawa never seemed to actually care about him unless they were in public didn't help. But that was fine. He was sure he was reading too much into it. 

They broke up after two months. Well, Yamaguchi broke up with Oikawa. It wasn't mutual. Yamaguchi told him it was becuase he's Aromantic. Which is true! It's just not the whole truth. He didn't mention that the way Oikawa disregarded his feelings made him feel worthless. He didn't think it mattered. 

Oikawa was Not Pleased. He yelled. He cried. He threw accusations around. ("You lied to me! This whole time! You led me on! You never loved me!) He shoved Yamaguchi out the door with the parting words of "I can't belive I trusted you! I told you how my ex broke my heart and you used me! How could you?!" Followed by the loud slam of the door.  
Yamaguchi went home. He cried. He bled. He wondered why anyone bothered to be near him if he was as awful as he thought he was. 

The next day Oikawa texted him, telling him he was going to kill himself. "If people are going to just keep using me like you did then why should I keep living?"  
Yamaguchi sobbed the whole way through trying to talk him out of it. (That was their process. Even after breaking up that stayed the same.)

That night Yamaguchi followed his example. Accept, he didn't tell anyone. He didn't even leave a note. He doubted anyone would care enough to read it anyway. 

They didn't talking for two weeks before Oikawa texted him, asking if they could be friends. 

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

A year later they'd still be friends. Sometimes Yamaguchi would wonder why. Sometimes Yamaguchi hated Oikawa. 

Oikawa would say things like "I care about you Yama~! You can come to me at anytime." And "I wish you would open up to me more often.... I just want you to be happy..."

Which often led to Yamaguchi attempting to let Oikawa in. But that usually led to Oikawa ignoring Yamaguchi's problems and talking about his own. Now, don't get him wrong, he was absolutely willing to try and help Oikawa! It's just that... he wished he had someone who actually cared about him enough to listen to him. 

So he did his best to stop talking to Oikawa about his problems. He fully stopped after the (next to last) suicide attempt of his he told Oikawa about. 

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Yamaguchi texted Oikawa just after he finished swallowing the pills. He had assumed that the other boy was asleep. So he sent a simple "Goodnight. I hope you sleep well. I'm not sure I'll be able to talk to you in the morning." He soon good a text back saying "what have you done" which informed him that Oikawa was, in fact, Not Asleep. 

So Yamaguchi told him. He figured it Oikawa wouldn't really care one way or the other if he died, so he didn't see the harm. But, really, he should have expected the reaction he got. 

That night, instead of simply going to sleep with the hope he wouldn't wake up, as he had planned, Yamaguchi forced himself to stay awake so he could comfort Oikawa and Attempt to talk him out of a suicide attempt of his own. It didn't work. (it hardly ever did) 

The next morning Yamaguchi was sure that if he'd been capable of feeling anything but a crushing, numb sort of disappointment, he would have been angry. 

He was bitter about it later. 

Yamaguchi didn't tell Oikawa about his next attempt. The one after that though? Well that's a different  
Story...

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

In Yamaguchi's defence, he'd only gotten about two hours of interrupted sleep before he started puking his guts up. So, yeah, he wanted a little comfort. 

He didn't even get that, though. Oikawa asked him if he was alright before saying "I wish you would have come to me" before not awnsering for most of the day.

Yamaguchi was bitter. And yeah, okay, maybe he was being a little unfair. But if he couldn't die, can't someone who claimed to love him atleast care. 

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Yamaguchi sat in bed, a bottle of juice in one hand, a bottle of pills on the other. A note addressed to Oikawa was sitting on his desk. They were supposed to hang out tomorrow, but he just couldn't do this. The last time he saw Oikawa he had gone back and forth between making jabs at Yamaguchi for his romantic orientation, or their breakup, and wanting to make out.  
It was, in all honesty, getting overwhelming and making him feel guilty. So, despite his fear of failing again and having to go through what he did last time, Yamaguchi downed the pills and settled down to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you liked it!  
> \- Trash_Lord (Damien)


End file.
